My fucking computer died.
Wait a moment. Let that sit in...
Now how useful is an author without a computer?
Yep.
And when it rains, it pours.
In my world, it pours like a monsoon.
I don't know who these people are, that can afford more than ONE computer but it sure as hell ain't me!
I've always lived paycheck-to-paycheck, and not for lack of trying. Just life is fierce in New York. Rent is skyrocket high. And it makes you so broke you can't even save up to leave to move somewhere affordable.
Reality. It sucks.
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| Rest in peace, faulty Asus laptop with the power button issues. |
My Asus died after 1.5 yrs. of life.
How? No fucking clue. I opened up that bad boy (careful to ground myself first, so no static shock) and found that for a laptop that I never dusted, there was not even a smidgen of dust inside. Everything was clean, and suprisingly, so was the fan.Hmm.
I always kept it mounted on a rack to allow for airflow underneath. And it was my first laptop that never had an overheating issue.
Hmm.
So I opened it VERY CAREFULLY with latex gloves.
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| The inside of my Asus laptop, under the keypad |
Inside, nothing was loose. Lithium battery had juice. I know, I swapped it out with the bathroom scale one. I discharged and recharged the internal battery. Not sure if it took effect, as I had to test it with a volt meter and had none.
Also, the square block that is the Asus plug adapter comes with no indicator light, so I had no idea if it had any juice in it. I had another delivered to me, and it had ample electricity running through it. However, it did nothing to juice up my laptop.
Hmm.
Everything seemed brand new internally when I lifted the keyboard faceplate. I put the HD into an external case, and was able to plug it into my old Dell tower, with some success. Nothing else inside the Asus looked burnt out. Nothing looked loose; all the shit was tight. Nothing looked like it needed soldering.
Hmm.
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| Asus internal laptop parts. |
Computer inspection continues
I've done many extensive computer repairs over the years myself on desktops. I've also had other laptops. This was the first major fail I've ever had with a computer dying.
When I bought it, I looked around for reviews/complaints. Nothing.
Fast forward to right now: I can see search results on this particular model as having "power button issues" beyond compare.
Fuck.
There were several hacks to fix this.
Such as...
Press the power button down for 30-60 seconds. It discharges the internal battery. Then plug back in, and restart. Done.
I had to do this hack during a scary 3 day stint where my computer just wouldn't turn on. When it finally did, I kissed God's ass like never before. Just super thankful to the almighty that I was able to get my computer and all saved work back.
Did I try this again, this time around? You better believe I did, yielding no results.
I tried so many head-scratching configurations that went nowhere.
It was high time to call in reinforcements.
Call in the professional
My buddy, for privacy reasons, will not be shown in this portion of my commentary.We went to school together. He studied computers, now fixes them privately. He is the guy that hedgefunders, upper east side rich housewives, boutique businesses, CEO's and the like call on, by word of mouth, to fix their computers quietly when all else fails. He doesn't even have a business card, adding to his mystique.
As busy as he is, he was a good sport about taking on my case with no money for me to pay him. If I ever get rich at writing, I'm gonna buy him Batman's computer, for realz.
So he arrived, I explained everything step-by-step...
F.Y.I.!!!
This is important for the computer repair guy to know: Always tell them every single action you took right before AND after meltdown!
This helps them construct the ever significant narrative that helps them pick up where you left off, fixing it faster, instead of wasting time on guess work. In fact, tell them EVERYTHING no matter how insignificant! You'll help them and yourself.
Anyhoo, he tells me off the bat he cannot guess. That he'll have to tinker with it himself, even when I showed him what's under the hood. I packed it up and he took off with it.
A week or so later, the bad news rolls in...
The assessment of the damage
It's either the internal battery, the motherboard, or some other shit I can't remember.In any case, it'll involve finding specific parts for this particular computer model that are now hard to find, on account that computers are quickly obsolete after 3-5 months.
To determine the faulty hardware would involve swapping those things out, to test for the damaged part.
Buying those parts would total more than the actual co$t of the laptop brand new.
Shit.
Good news: It's NOT the power button. Who knew??
When buying a laptop - things to know
So this is good advice for anybody, really:- If you buy a notebook computer, BUY THE CUSTOMER PROTECTION PROGRAM! The mfg warranty is only one year! The repair service protection takes care of anything else, even damage in transit
Notebook computers (laptops) aren't like desktop computers. Their parts are not interchangeable, universal, nor easy to find! These are not easy fixes either.
This one surprised me. He said that even though I bought another charger from Amazon that fit, that this one was NOT configured to handle the correct output of voltage my laptop required. It brought in too much juice. Even though it was listed in the description as compatible for my model, it could've easily overcharged it in the long run resulting in a permanently damaging electric short.
He's hanging onto it for now, in case he comes across other dead computer to cannibalize. It's part of the perks of his job.
Switching back to my old Dell computer
It was a nightmare! It was still running Windows XP for chrissakes! Slow. Clunky. Only had about 5 programs on it, including Solitaire. (the BEST version of Solitaire, IMHO) Had to do massive updates that only cancelled out due to it being XP and no more support for it by Microsoft.*sigh*
Predictably, I was able to check email but not respond to it. Couldn't play videos. Most websites crashed it. Checking my texts was a no-go. And of course, couldn't Skype my buddies.
Until one buddy came through and got me a refurbished Dell far newer than my 15 year old Dell.
Yes, you heard correctly.
A 15 year old Dell computer...
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| A 15 year old Dell computer. Icecream, 'cuz it's June and it's hot as hell. |
Now replaced by a 5 year old Dell...
To recap:
> Went from 1.5yo notebook computer w/ Win 8.1, to
> 15yo desktop PC w/ Win XP Pro, to
> 5yo Win 7 Pro.
Total time lost on this bullshit: June 3 to July 29.
Stay tuned for my next segment where I discuss the nightmare that is, upgrading to Windows 10.
