OnyxTowers: My Author Journey So Far - May 22, 2017 - June 3rd, 2017

// I wrote this a few days ago...//

I am currently trapped,**TRAPPED**, within the confines of my bedroom, drinking cold coffee that the mug warmer will not work overtime for the likes of little ol' me.
Turn up the heat, you plastic-coiled demon!
The microwave is agonizingly too far away, and the guests in the kitchen, keep me in lock down.
I drew a simple chart to illustrate such an indignity.

Ok, they're finally gone. *whew!

Q: So Onyx, how did that thing go, about entering that writing contest?

A: It didn't.

"'Twas a perfect storm of fuckery...a decision handed down by cruel demigods; a roll of the dice. Like hitting the wrong button on the microwave and walking away. Only to discover in horror, that you overheated your meal by 12 minutes. Never has plastic wrap ever shown signs of radiation and evaporation at the same time." - Onyx Towers

Today it's cold and rainy outdoors, and very much gray. Puddles everywhere. May is proving to be unusually cold and rainy. So it becomes a surprise that some old dudes who used to work for the Salvadorian consulate came over to talk music with my father today. Who travels in a downpour? I heard him break out the cassette tapes in the kitchen. (makes a distinct sound clicking on the radio speakers) They're in the kitchen as we speak.

I am stuck in the bedroom, as I have a 'do not mingle with outsiders' policy. Not because I am unfriendly or impolite, but because weird shit always happens, peppered with moments of awkwardness I dare not take back. Ever. Yeah, you keep it buddy. All of my aloofness, just for you pal! One for the road!

*tick tock* *tick tock*

So let's talk about not completing goals!

Family
Both my folks have displayed their illnesses putting them at their worst behavior. I have never had to supervise them more in my entire life than this particular past week. It was physically/emotionally exhausting. Irrationality, lapses in common sense, and terrible words had been said. I tried to get them to have an open talk about moving into an adult community but neither would have it.
Also, lots more yelling.

Imagine normally rational, peaceful people, losing their cool with no warning. Yep. Imagine that happening 4 times in one week. Yup.

Anxietyyyyyyyy!

Lots more happened but I think I'll keep that under my hat for a future book I am writing on elderly care.

I suspect family will always be a Top 3 Reason To Not Complete The Novel, but let us examine some other common offenders.
Of the writing variety.

Formatting
If you remember from my last blog post I was bitching about this very problem...

It just so happened that I used a free blank template, a very nice and professional looking one. Of course, I had made some mistakes and altered their pre-formatted state, resulting in some wonkiness so apparent, it assaulted my eyes and drove me crazy.

I couldn't remember how to undo whatever it was I just did. Could I manually adjust the overly tall footer? Sure. Would it stay that way after I hit save, close the document, then reopen it the following day? Hell no!

For days of searching the vast recesses of endless cyberspace, and every tutorial, and every how-to page, I just could not see my way out of this paper bag.

The page numbers kept showing up as Page Numbers, instead of numerical digits.
I talked to a buddy of mine after two days of this crap, and in a few minutes he finds out the hack.

"Hit Cntrl+F9 and it'll revert to numbers" he says.

That's it. I could not find this answer ANYWHERE, and he gets it in minutes. Man, am I having my Charlie Brown moment now!

Because I couldn't figure out the red arrow problem, I got fed up and just ripped out the story and pasted it into another blank template, starting over again. It was just easier.

Book Marketing Considerations

So I filled in the pertinent information at the back of this book template:

copyright/ website info/ social media linkage/ contact info

Everything except ISBN because I won't know that until I upload. I realized I needed to post a paid link to redirect out of when I convert this to .epub format.
And have my book marketing plan ready to go real soon.
That has to be prepared MONTHS BEFORE A BOOK LAUNCH. Was I shouting? Probably because it's that important. There. I just laser-engraved it into your mind.

Currently I'm on chapter 3 or 4, and the book cover's ready to go. I looked into all my notes on book marketing, and am now putting together a step-by-step killer plan. I've seen other writer websites talk about 'killer book marketing' blueprints and whatnot, but it's all stupid clickbait. And they never give you the real juice without paying cash. Luckily for me, I've been studying these materials for several months (hmm, I would say 26 months or so) so that I have an actual profitable plan that won't involve me parting with my small ca$h sta$h. We shall see how well that works out in the end. For now I'll just finish up this prequel.

A prequel?

And yes, it is a prequel. The following book will become much longer, simply because of the subject matter that requires a great deal of research. But I'm in agreement with a friend of mine, in that we aren't fans of trilogies.

My stories will take whatsoever direction they need to. I'm not gonna force it.

Publishers, like record producers, wanna sell 'X' amount of units. This is profitable for them. But that turns the screws on the creative genius creating that wonderful bit of art they are offering to the world. If you force it, you're rushing the process, and so you will turn out a turd, instead of a highly polished gold nugget.

This is one of the many reasons I have cautious reservations about getting signed on with a publisher in the future. I'll talk more about that down the road. But for me, for now, there's no way to write something brilliantly fluid with a gun pointed to your head, demanding you meet an impossibly crunched deadline. I don't know how anybody can work that way, really.
I'm malleable though, so if a publisher wants to meet me halfway, that would be grand.

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That was last-last week, this is this week.

JUNE!

We had an incident where light bulbs are no longer to be placed within reach of my mother- don't ask. So I purchased on ebay some LED strips for their bedroom. My father didn't like the flourescent-looking illumination, so I bought an Ikea paper lantern thing that doesn't arrive until next week. I'm always the one who installs things like that so it's more time out of my writing schedule.

I already have the hardware:

That hooky thing? I lost it, and now I need it. Durr.

Aaand, it arrived.

Aaand, he hated it.
So I let him have the other homemade piece of shit lamp I tacked together with screws, bolts, aluminium wire and needlenose pliers.
Behold!

My craptastic contraption that illuminates so well!

Oh the lengths I go to, to placate the old folks.
I inherited the ikea lamp, but without an extension cord, it sits atop my luggage case.*sigh*

And so it happened that, as a result of the 'incidents' that I was on heightened alert, due to paranoia. Lack of sleep ensued. So I wasn't exactly watching myself when I was chopping onions.

The ~~Daily~~ Dangerous Distraction
And so this happened. Because I am a distracted idiot:

***WARNING - GRAPHIC IMAGE -***
Show/hide

Clearly I'm not alone in haphazard injuries...
My poor father! I gave him some ice for a pinky toe he stubbed, no accompanying pic. This wouldn't be cause for concern in most folks, but diabetics need to keep their feet in good health, and blood was visible. He's fine now, just a tad swollen pinky that ended up lasting 3 days.

I wonder if this is what home health care aides go through. Also, I get now that it's damn near impossible to stay on top of such patients 24/7 as I myself have trouble watching them both, bruises and ouchies be damned.
Good grief.
Oh well, do the best you can and forgive yourself for not being perfect, I guess. And believe me, I did a lot of kicking myself in the beginning when I first took up the mantle of elderly care.
Damn catholic guilt. So useless!

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That was last week, this is this week.

My father recruited me into uprooting a dead tree. Damn thing was all dried out, so the trunks were light-weight enough to drag to the compost. They died thanks to an asshole invasive vine that choked the hell out of it. It was dead too, but had tangled the tops of the branches with the healthy trees. Undoing it was a nightmare. We succeeded while melting in the sun.

And now those trunks sit on the grass undisturbed. My father was gonna chop 'em up but...

Now my poor father caught the flu. In summertime. Jeez.
Nobody knows how, as nobody was sick around, anywhere. *sigh*
So I took time off my schedule to make homemade chicken soup.
Behold! Bok-bok!

Homemade chicken bone broth soup

Nope! That Lipton packet stuff won't heal you. The immune building chicken hormones come from the bone marrow of the chicken bones; google the words 'bone broth soup'. I had to break some half-raw bones to boil in water, then add to soup.

It's like a long, long process.
But I guess it worked. He's around 60% better now. Yes, he had his flu shot months ago. But at his age, flu kills, so prevention is much more important. We clearly nipped this thing in the damn bud! Yayss!

And then I had to make an appt. for a specialist for my poor mother. She has a mystery allergy that we cannot pinpoint, even after an elimination diet. Thankfully I had the forsight to ask their office to mail us the forms. Nobody likes filling out forms at the doctor's office on clipboards, especially with tiny text. My mother can't write or read anymore, and my father has trouble seeing all that microtext at 10pt font size. Can't blame him. All that day-to-day shit falls on me now.

Just more necessary time-sucks.

Something interesting happened in between. One morning last week, the grass was all dewy, and I found a black butterfly on the blades. My dog sniffed her, then walked off unimpressed. I thought for sure she was gonna fly away, but I remembered that they can't until their wings dry off. So I scooped up the poor, chunky thing and set her on this plant we grow here that black swallowtails just love.
See? She all happy as a clam now.

And the black butterly says, 'Om-nom-noms!'

An Asian friend of mine told me that in his culture, black butterflies heralded visitations from your ancestors long passed. I thought that was interesting, as I have no ancestors, just dead grandparents. But hey, hi grandma! Enjoy the flowers!

And so, after all of these distractions, mishaps, accidents, tech errors, and overall grouchiness, GOD HELP ME, I finally got around to doing things for myself!

I finally installed a graphics card inside my computer. Then I had to update it's drivers.
"So much fun!" said no one ever.

I usually enjoy doing hardware upgrades, but not in a rush, crunched in between very many chores. Especially if you must do an after test, and upgrade firmware too. Don't forget the restart! It's a process, and it takes it's sweet-ass time!

ANYHOo! (Caps lock, you strike again! You sonofabitch...)

And I think that wraps up all of the reasons there are so many gaps in between posts. The absences aren't for lack of trying, more like constant disruptions getting in the way. I will continue posting more writing related posts hereon in, and I do believe there's no more reason to post about family distractions. Unless of course, somebody gets maimed or dead. Dang, I am dramatic.

This is, after all, a blog about writing.

Dog tax!
He ain't dead. Just taking an old man's nap around noon.