So, I've shifted gears since last post.
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(I wrote this a few days ago, so now it's just rainy and humid like swamp ass...)
Bear with me, we're undergoing a goddam heatwave in the Northeast, and the second
floor of my house always turns into a yearly summer hotbox. Because my dad doesn't
think it's important to have a screen on the front door, it's too much money. Because he
picked a bay window during the last renovation that opens vertically, and
only two windows of six open. And because the sun bakes that corner of
the house, where the damn kitchen is at, and he says it's too expensive
to put another air conditioner in. He'd rather save money and kill us in the
process. Yeah, he's one of those 'thermostat dads'. *insert eyeroll*
Because of COVID-19 fucking up the entire planet, and my best laid plans, we were not able to sell the house this year. It's beginning to look like maybe next Spring is it.
However, I'm moving my dumpy ass down south much sooner.
All of our plans were postponed due to the ongoing pandemic. We're only beginning to get some semblance of normality, and I know this, because yesterday my father returned from Costco with the first batch of toilet paper stack that we haven't been able to shop for, since January.
We live in New York, so luckily, not in one of those heehaw states with the bumblefuck governors that have one hand on their baby dick, and another scratching their collective talking heads going "DUH-HAW?!" everytime a reporter asks them about public safety measures regarding COVID-19. We're pretty good at keeping this thing at bay here. I am worried once I move though.
Last time...
So, since last I wrote, our kitchen window was getting fixed, as well as the leak in the bathtub faucet. Handy capable dude from our church fixed that, finally, including the giant cranium-sized hole in the sheetrock my mother put in with her skull when she fell over. Now the wall is smooth like buttah. Also, I no longer have to plug paper towels around the window frame every time it rains. He gave a huge discount as he got furloughed from work, so I didn't need to get angry like I usually do when my father hires morons who are unlicensed that charge full price. This time, life gave our family a break.
The car was amazingly resurrected from the dead, just in time to get the inspection sticker on, but with much difficulty, as the repair guy informed us. He says it's the car model, it's known for a defect that makes the engine light come on regardless of anything. Terrific. I also renewed the plates online for my dad, (first time registering online for him, for ANYTHING) so he could avoid the crowded Department of Motor Vehicles and not get infected with COVID-19. Amusingly, he was amazed when I told him he could find the VIN number (vehicle identification) on the side of the car door, (he's in his 80s and only learned now) and he equally schooled me by telling me it's also located on the corner of the windshield, (I'm middle aged and just learned that) only it was so faded by sunlight so he couldn't read it. Look at that, we learn something new every damn day!
He doesn't know it, and most likely throw a fit about it if he were the wiser, but I keep a file of all important account numbers for him, as he is very unorganized. And a calendar for him as well. And a list of medications. Yes, these are all important for old people. These admin tasks also take away from valuable writing time for me.
My new moving plans
Since COVID-19 blew all our plans to hell, I had to make new ones. Me and my brother came to an agreement, that sometime this Winter we would escort my mother to the nursing home. But first, we had to have a long talk that involved becoming reasonable, and amicable, despite our many differences. Diplomacy will get us through this! 😰 So I'm going down to the Carribean, then up to North Carolina, and not returning to this house, ever.
I also divorced myself from the selling and emptying of the house. I'm setting an entire room with boxed up documents that need shredding, and either I will handle this myself, or hire someone to do this. With so many people furloughed in our church, shouldn't be difficult to find people.
A lady from our church will handle the logistics of removing furniture from our house, cuz I ain't emptying shit. I just don't have the strength. My mind is solid, my body, flimsy like cling-wrap. Just lifted groceries two days ago up the stairs, and hurt the tendons from three fingers so bad, it hurt brushing my teeth, for two days straight. Hurt my knees, hurt my ankles, well I'm clearly a goddamn mess! Being middle-aged sucks a big bag of dicks!
Accurate representation of my life right now, with a refreshed perspective! We put some lip gloss on that there piggy:
What have I been doing in terms of writing?
A couple of things, actually! It may not seem that way, because I have been taking extensive breaks from Instagram to get things done (and to some degree, abandoning gaming too) but yeah, slowly but surely, this tortoise is building momentum.
MEANWHILE, I've relocated that energy towards opening a new online store! It'll have all the bookish merchandise I just cannot find online. I already opened it two days ago, but haven't begun advertising yet.
I removed the slider javascript on my site that malfunctioned a while ago, that looked like a big, boring, empty gray box. Luckily I remembered some HTML/CSS and pilfered through all that fucking code, line by line, because Blogger changed their look and now F3 doesn't work. Thanks google! *sarcasm* Anyway, took a while, but I finally ripped it outta there!
Forgive me for using many expletives, this heat has me cranky and murderous. 🔥😡🔥
I built an animated ad
Next, I decided to use that area to fill with banner ads. Ads of my own merch store, that is. So for the last 48hrs, I retaught myself to do animations after many years of not. Like riding a bike! The only tricky thing was remembering formatting, and applying hyperlinks, which I did, easy squeezy. So I finally put it up. And tested it across devices.
If you'll notice the banner ad on the front page of my blog, that looks like that one below, it'll take you to the store if you click on the right place:
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Originally I titled it "Red Ink Press" but there's some sites that go by that name already, and other derivatives of. I had to scrap that name fast, create a new one, and park that across all social media. It was exhausting, and took about 4 hours of my time.
Also, I had to redo this animated ad to include the new name. It involved a minor tweak, but I did have to rewrite the code. Yes, animated banner ads have code, surprise, surprise.
I finally created my own publishing label
Red Fluid Press is my label now. Red fluid is obviously incinuating blood. Or ink, if you're much too timid.
The "Coming Soon" portion is due to the fact that I haven't launched my books yet. It does make me sad, but I'm about done with at least one, and I can actually send some of my stories from my anthology off to beta readers now.
(it's been over a week, so I just continued this post so much later on)
My debut novel will be FREE.
Not KU free, but just plain ol' permafree. You're welcome! I will be making animated instagram announcements and also, on my facebook. Stay tuned.
Speaking of Beta Readers...
I have been formulating a giant fucking spreadsheet of all places I can pimp my books to, and some of those groups are beta reader groups. One column I dedicated to only Facebook groups. That list keeps growing. It's exhaustive to build this list, but necessary when the time comes to pimp it out.
That there spread sheet also has comprehensive lists of book tubers, (youtube channels that review books) book marketers, and the like. I split them into paid and FREE.
I do this because, when the time comes to do my pimping, I'm not gonna remember all of the places I learned about. I'll just go straight down the list, so I don't have to rebuild the wheel here. Target this group and that. Badaboom.
I've also been drawing illustrations for my horror book anthology, one per story. You're welcome ;-)
So, here is all I've been doing so far:
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Well, that's all I have so far. My back hurts, cuz I'm a pansy with a very weak skeleton. Or maybe it's because I recaulked both kitchen window frames to keep seasonal ants from swarming in, I dunno. Maybe I'll write a horror story about that, since I'm already feeling the horror every day, owwie. 💢
